When Do We Go To Commercials?

So this guy at work, we'll call him J because that's really the first initial of his name (wow, really!), he's all excited today when I come in, and he's telling everyone about the secret that we can't tell his wife (who also works here) because he's so happy with what he's done.

And it's just like a sitcom, like he's Tim Allen in Home Improvement or something. Which is really a perfect analogy because, just like Tim Allen, J has his special classic car (a Mustang) that he is forever fixing up. Although honestly I think it's actually finished and in vintage condition now.

But anyway, here's what J has done: bought his wife a Valentine's Day present.

And what did he get her? Well, what would be a good Tim Allen character type of gift?

He got her a 67 Ford Galaxy 500. He was really proud because it cost only $300.00 and you could drive it off the lot, and it only needed some welding on the trunk, and a few other things.

You can imagine that L (his wife) was a bit underwhelmed. She tried to act happy, to spare his feelings. At first anyway.

Never mind the fact that he didn't buy it himself. Another guy who works a different shift bought it for him. Another guy, who is also a car nut, and who is also friends with ANOTHER guy who works here, who just happens to also have bought a 67 Galaxy 500 recently. According to L it's very likely that the two will strip the new Galaxy 500 of parts for their own use before turning it over to J.

I mean, I really didn't think that there were real guys out there who would actually think that an old muscle car fixer upper was the perfect romantic gift for their wife. Even IF it runs and has a straight body and is considered a classic car.

On Valentine's Day.

And every time you walked by his desk tonight, he was staring longlingly at internet pictures of 67 Ford Galaxy 500's. When he saw you watching him he would say, "Just looking at a picture of my wife's Valentine's Day present!"

It's for her, you know. Not for him. Honest.

Math Problem

Statistically, according to the Left-Hander's Calendar that I got for Christmas (which btw I'm convinced was assembled by a bitter right-hander with no brain), when both parents are right-handed, the chance of having a left-handed kid is 2%. When one is left-handed, the chance is 17%. When both are left-handed, the percentage is 50%.

Never mind where these stats come from. We can trust a badly constructed info calandar, right?

So let's assume that 10% of the population is left-handed, which is what I kind of remember is the figure people usually toss about. Unless I'm getting that confused with the 10% that are gay. But anyway, assume with me that this is true.

Now, let's assume that only lefthanders marry lefthanders, and only righthanders marry righthanders.

Now, let's assume that right handed couples have an average of 2 kids, but left handed couples have an average of 10 kids.

Question: How long before there are enough lefthanders in the world that we can rise up and throw off the oppression of righthandedness that we suffer under daily?

That is all. ^_^

BTW, today's oh-so-useful lefthanded fact: "The first recorded Siamese twins, born in 1811, were linked at the waist. They were named Chang and Eng, which means "right" and "left"".

Now, aside from this being a very sad story (who wants to go through life with the name "Left" simply because you're always to the left of your twin?), can anyone tell me how this relates to being left handed?

NO. BECAUSE IT DOESN'T.

Maybe I should keep you all abreast of these amazing left-handed facts from my stupid calandar, like how I'm 30% more likely to be injured at work due to being left handed... what a comforting thought that is. Or the entry that mentioned that Tim Allen was left handed, then described in great detail his role in that Star Trek parody movie (can't remember the name at the moment). As if details about a movie role he played are interesting? And relate to being left-handed somehow? Hello? Wouldn't something about, you know, TIM ALLEN HIMSELF be a little more interesting and relevant?

Like I said, a bitter right-hander with no brain. And a complete inability to do research.

Anyway, all for now!